Would you rather date a lot of different people, or be in a committed relationship?

Committed relationship; always been a practitioner of monogamy

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Dear Big Sister: You Ain't Shit

So I'm a student in the AUC, the Atlanta University Center, which is comprised of a number of historically black colleges and universities (HBCUs) and I like to read.  Now saying I like to read is an understatement; as a writer and a reader I tend to critique a number of things, most notably the school and AUC newspapers.  Case in point: I hate them.

I don't see how any of them really deserve any reward; the claim is that they get national recognition for their stories (mostly the Maroon Tiger; the CAU Panther and the Spelman Spotlight don't get as much recognition) and format and all of that but why?  I was more than pissed at an article in the latest issue about a student that claims to believe in God but doesn't agree with religion, drawing on the disconnect from religion of Norwegians and the such, only to earlier claim that Christianity (her biggest beef) was created by white people and as such as evil.  There are SO MANY glaring inconsistencies with this, from calling God "God" when she has "no religion" to claiming Christianity was born in Europe (birthed in Africa; read a fucking book).  The article wasn't a celebration of mediocrity; it was an exhibition in ignorance.

The blame doesn't rest solely with the Maroon Tiger though.  The Clark Atlanta paper, and this is my school, tends to celebrate mediocrity from time to time.  Last week there was an article about how some students have become "beacons of hope" for freshmen (ONLY freshmen; keep this in mind) as transporation to Wal Mart  for a price after they closed down the local Publix (supermarket for those of you that don't know).  I know a hustle when I see a hustle, but the issue is that they were called "beacons of hope" when in fact they were just hustling freshmen.  I told you to keep that in mind for the simple fact that they were only really targeting freshmen; sophomores and up KNOW that they can take the MARTA for cheaper or catch a ride with a friend for free.  THAT is a celebration of mediocrity.

Why haven't I mentioned the Spelman Spotlight?  It rarely comes out.  The newspaper that sort of glues the campuses together, however, is the AUC Digest, a small newspaper that highlights some of the biggest stories of the week, and normally I appreciate this.  For example, this week the front page article was that Devonni Benton, the man charged with murdering Spelman student Jasmine Lynn, was found guilty of his crime and sentenced to life and 25 years in jail.  That's a very worthy front page article.  In the Maroon Tiger, it was a blurb at the bottom.  I know I seem pretty angry about this, but when you got that not even taking up a fourth of the page and the news of a transgender Morehouse grad taking up a front page spot AND half of a page inside, there's a problem.  What are the priorities here, people?

Don't fret: I will NEVER stop complaining about the quality of the newspapers on this campus, but I have to focus my argument.  Today is March 1st, and I just picked up the new AUC Digest.  Again, front page article is good, inside articles are good, but the thing I always have a problem with in this is the "Dear Big Sister" bullshit advice block.  You know how "Dear Abbey" works, right?  Well this is not "Dear Abbey".  "Dear Big Sister" just tends to state the obvious and never really seems to help out the person in need.  I won't get into the new thing here, the whole big story of this week's disturbed female, but in short: she's in a bad relationship, she wants out, she doesn't know how to do it.  How does our  beloved "Dear Big Sister" answer this? 

"You deserve better!" 

No, really?  I didn't gather that, not at all.  What else?

"...there are professionals on your campus who can help.  Please go directly to your dean's office..."

How about you call the fucking police, woman?!  No, I need to put it into context.  This girl's boyfriend is a drop out in a nice apartment; has no job but his roommate has plenty of money.  She thinks he is in "the drug thing".  Her parents love the man and he apparently abuses her and swears that she'll be his woman for life.  She's scared.  She wants out but doesn't know how.  Can Big Sister help?

No, the bitch can't!  Pardon my French.  Allow me to offer some more logical advice, piece by piece.  For one, if you been with a guy for two years that abuses you and deals drugs, something is just as wrong with you as it is with him.  You might like that kind of lifestyle or you might be scared to do anything about it, but rarely, and I'm dead serious, RARELY does this kind of behavior occur overnight: you had to know SOMETHING!  For two, another warning light should of went off as soon as you saw him drop out and have no job and have a nice place.  There's no roommate nice enough to completely support someone not keeping up their end of the rent, not unless that dude saved his life early on.  Your parents may love him, but I'm going to refer you to Madea's Family Reunion (oh God I hate that pice of shit movie) and ask you to recall how Blair Underwood's character and the older lady (I forget her name but she's a great actress) conspired against the daughter.  Abstract I admit, but anything is possible.  Of course, say he's putting on a facade around them?  Why aren't you calling him on his bullshit?  For three, if you're being abused then why are you not calling the police?  He's hitting you and maybe selling drugs, that's worthy of a phone call to the cops, yes?  Don't talk to people on campus; talk to the police first, get the nigga arrested and maybe, just maybe, things will start to look up.  You need to build up that self esteem and confidence though because it's not "the pride factor" keeping you from doing this (as Big Sister thinks) but fear, not just of what might come but of a broken heart.  \

Yes, a broken heart.  If you've been with a man for two years and you don't love him then it has to be sex keeping you around, good GOOD sex, but if abuse is present then that more than likely is NOT the case.  I assume this might be your first love too, and yes, the pain from that breakup is indescribable, yes, but, as Will Smith said (yes, a much better reference for advice than Big Sister), "Pain is the mother of change."  Into each life some rain must fall, and that rain is pain, and pain is the mother of change, and change is necessary right now to advance with your life.  You don't need any man that abuses you, point blank, that isn't even something I need to say.  However, you have to find that power within yourself and break the chains you keep around yourself.  There's a sick comfort in a relationship, even an abusive one, but you have to have the nerve to bust free and take it upon yourself to steer the boat that is your life.  Get on that phone, preferably from somewhere far away from this possible drug dealer, call the police and start the bumpy road to recovery; once you start down it then it only gets easier.

That's all I have to say for right now.  I'm the DiZ.  Giggidy giggidy, giggidy goo.

Still Dreaming: Plotting the Death of Deadlines

They say the black rose is an old symbol of death.  I don't know, from my ever increasingly aesthetic mind state I can see both the beauty of a black rose and the poetic glory in death.  I'm not goth or anything, certainly not praying for death, but I'm also able to see beauty in war.  People tend to shy away from what isn't instantly pleasing to the eye, but secretly a great number of these very people find a strange sort of satisfaction (how's that for alliteration?) in the very things they consider grim.  There is a beautiful aesthetic in violence, often used in movies by Quentin Tarantino, more so in literature.  I just thought I'd put that out there for the time being; if you're wondering what this has to do with this post... not much.  I mean, I do have something to say but it has little to do with black roses (which I really do find beautiful) or violence.  It has to do with my attempting to murder something: deadlines!

The irony in this blog post is that the very reason I'm writing this is to reach the thing I want destroyed: a deadline.  Deadlines have been pissing me off for years, two decades now, and the pressure put on me from them is the reason.  I hate pressure; pressure leads to stress, and I don't do stress, just don't  Besides that, the pressure is only increased when, if you miss one deadline, you have to make up for that one AND work on yet another one. 

See, some people excel under the pressure; I admit that ONE deadline I've had actually helped, just one, and that was because it was something I love to do.  Granted, I do like to blog, but I LOVE to craft stories and narratives; that's actually the reason my last deadline wasn't met: I'm working on a big project based on the characters of Grand Theft Auto, a big narrative from the point of view of the silent protagonist Claude of Grand Theft Auto 3 (and maybe 2, it's possible).  It's so big I may need to break it up into a few parts, but it's not finished yet.  In any case, I didn't plan on using it for my deadlines, but now deadlines might force me to.  I'm shaking my damn head at that; I don't want to waste it on this yet. 

There's the constant issue, however: why don't you just write something and call it a day?  Simple answer: I can't.  Complex: being that I am the writer (notice I said "the", not "a", implying I am very cocky) I can't do anything half assed, and considering that I have a surprisingly large ass on me even quarter ass could suffice, but not for me.  It's all or nothing, no less, and I've had to compromise some of my best for deadlines. 

I don't strive to meet deadlines: I just do what I do and it gets done when it gets done.  Usually that meets a deadline, whether it was intentional or not.  That's about all I have to say on this topic.  Guess I'll break up my narrative, my brilliant story, and use it for a deadline.  Damn shame, but hey, what's more important?  Personal accomplishment or academic security?  I'll leave on that note.