Gazing Out The Window: Growth...

Yes, I happily call you (you in the plural sense if you want me to seem polite; you in the singular if you want to consider me the asshole that I usually am) niggas because I write some serious shit most of the time and I intend for people to read it, spread it, otherwise I become bitter and borderline homicidal, and I have a vague idea where most of you live. Take the hint.

I'm being overly cruel. Maybe it's just that nagging alter ego of mine telling me to exact revenge on the people that used to have my back, but now seem to be so caught up in their own lives that they can't even drop a line. Believe it or not that includes few if any people I know on Facebook; I refer back to the first verse (hell, the entire track) of "What's Up, Fatlip?", the only single off of former Pharcyde front man's (alliteration) debut album, Theloneliest Punk. I know it by heart, but here's what sticks out:

"Full of dreams, determination, self esteem,
But now it seems, they hesitate to be on my team,
You know the routine, when you winning they grinning,
All up in your face like they were with you from the beginning,
But on the flip side, when you washed up like a riptide,
Fools clown 'bout how you slipped and let shit slide"

Speaks to a situation I think I'm in. Look at that, I got so caught up in my disappointment in the human race that I lost my train of thought. This particular soon-to-be-unread gem is about growth, growth I've seen amongst the people I've known since... I'm not sure how long. Especially now I see some things that make me say, "Wow, that's the same person I knew in high school?"

Suppose it's the gift and the curse of growing older, wiser, sexier, what have you. Some people I've seen now, compared to how they were in high school or even before, are smarter, wiser (guru-like sometimes), conceited, more well endowed (the breasts on the ladies grow very nicely, I am not ashamed to say), more worldly, and, in the case of the negative, more bitchy. Again, I say this out of observation, not spite. I call a lot of you presumptuous dickheads out of spite, as well as miserable cock munchers, but that's just me and my ever growing witty wordplay at work.

Back to the subject at hand.. again. The positive growth I've seen in people fills me with a sense of satisfaction, if you can believe that. One thing I've picked up on is spiritual growth, a closer bond with the Lord. Being a practicing Catholic I can understand and support this kind of relationship wholeheartedly. I'm not mad about it at all. At the same times, the ones that have chosen to have no faith or subscribe to a atheist point of view, I'm happy to see they're not just saying they don't believe in God and leaving it there. There are arguments and mutual feelings, morals and values, actual thoughts and motives, not just saying there is no God for the sake of saying it (kind of like a lot of people say Lil Wayne is the best rapper alive but can't logically defend the statement). I'm not endorsing any particular religion with this post (I have my own personal battles with Catholicism to draw my gun for) but there's growth, no longer childish "I do this because I was taught to do it" but more "I do this because I think it's right".

I don't know how better to put this. Maybe it's because I'm tired, hyped up on sugar, playing Rock Band 2 and Saints Row 2 at about the same time, lusting after some porn stars I'll never meet as well as friends I don't have the balls to talk to about it to, and listening to the most awful interpretation of Take On Me, but I think I've gotten my point across very easily in just one paragraph. If not then I'll write it again, for my own amusement, but more so for you ungrateful bastards that just run over the notes written by DiZ... that was mean too, but prove me wrong. Peace.